Reply to Do you tolerate strangers calling you “sweetie, doll, dear” etc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]IRL, what are people supposed to refer to you as if they don't know you (and your name)?  Miss?  Won't some people get offended if we're assuming genders at this point?  It's gotten so ridiculous at this point what people are uptight about and it seems like many are just sitting around waiting to be offended....[/quote]

It's not rocket science. People who have manners never use those terms to talk to women. No one NEEDS to refer to anyone as dear, sweetie, etc. It's a habit you developed and you can stop anytime.[/quote]

Taking offense at every little thing is also a habit you developed and can stop at any time.

The vast majority of people who use these terms at this point are women who were socialized into it by the expectation that they be friendly and motherly to people even in professional settings.[/quote]

Stop saying offensive things and people won't be....offended. I can't believe I have to spell this out for grown-ups. Are you really THiS STUPID?[/quote]

I'm the PP and I'm not stupid, but now I'm getting why you are having a hard time with this.

You can't use an ounce of empathy to understand that MANY people who say this stuff do not consider it offensive, it's what they call everyone, and they were raised to speak this way? A waitress calling you hon or sweetie is not out to get you. That's just how she talks. If you are so much better and more sophisticated than she is, then surely you can have the good manners and patience to let it go, rather than call her stupid, which is inarguably ruder than calling someone "sweetie."[/quote]

To me it is a sign of someone with poor boundaries. They should know the difference between their spouse and children who they can call whatever nicknames and terms of endearment that they want and people who are not on that level of intimacy with them. But when they are overly familiar with me, talking to me using terms of endearment, talking to me as though they know me and think they are so close to me that nicknames are appropriate - it is definitely something that makes me take a step way back. Same as if they are all touchy feely and can't keep their hands to themself - and no I don't care if that is 'just how they are'.  I wouldn't call someone stupid but I would definitely keep my distance and not tip or return. If they struggle with boundaries in one area, they probably struggling in a lot of areas.[/quote]

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