Reply to Does my husband have ADHD or is this something else??

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Does my husband have ADHD or is this something else??"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You might like this article from a divorced man about how he felt and the mistakes he made.  Maybe if it resonates you can share it with your husband.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

I think your marital situation is kind of typical and you are allowing yourself to become more despondent about it than is necessary.  There are also more "just divorce" advocates on this thread than usual.

I think a "roommate marriage" is rather normal.  Our ancestors didn't have a lot of expectations around romantic, sexy, beautiful middle-aged lives.  People are more built for sticking together and muddling through.  Prince Charming is a myth. (Ref: Charles, Harry, and even that Danish king who met his future queen in an Australian bar.) All people in long relationships take the other for granted.  I'm a low gifts and compliments person because I prefer a few spontaneously given than lame check-the-box attempts on schedules.  Maybe you should ask for "kid free days off" given what makes you stressed.

I would start looking for things your DH can do to bond with the kids.  Maybe he can go grocery shopping with the oldest, etc.  Find things like that will result in slow improvements.  You can also teach your kids to request manageable menus and make sure whoever shops picks up those foods.  Put the easy menus on a card and post them on the fridge. A middle elementary schooler should be able to assemble a microwaved soup and sandwich dinner.  [/quote]

OP here. I discovered Matthew many, many years ago and sent him his blog back then. Earlier this summer I bought his book and read it in 2 days despite all the craziness with kids and such. I made him download it for Audible so he can listen to it since he prefers audio books vs. paper.

I manage the grocery list even though I am not the one actually shopping (I don't go because I hate it and even if I loved it, the kids would be left to themselves which is a problem).

Unfortunately he always has a reason to not engage with the kids - I think I mentioned this earlier.

I think I keep trying to bargain with myself but not sure how much longer that can last.

Just thinking about divorce brings about a lot of shame to me. I only have two cousins, one on each side of my family, who divorced their spouses.

My husband has everyone but me fooled. So I already feel shame thinking about initiating a separation because everyone will be all shocked and confused.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics