Reply to How would you react if your college DD scolded you publicly because you asked her to hang out one night?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sense is you're resentful that you're funding her life and also funding her travels and she's choosing to spend them without you - Thanksgiving, winter break at bfs, vacation w bf. I get it but you can simply not fund these things. To some extent you can also say no. I get that doesn't work as they get older and have their own money but nothing wrong w saying WE expect to see you during the holidays + not funding her Thanksgiving and winter break w bf. You won't be able to stop her if she comes up w the money to go but at least it won't be this lingering resentment of - we pay all this $ and don't even get to see you for holidays, so now you owe us this trip to great uncle.[/quote]

I agree with this.

And you really have got to drop trying to drag another adult to visit great uncle whoever. This is the time to start transitioning toward a parent to adult child relationship. Respect boundaries, don’t force your desires on others instead find common ground where you enjoy each others company. The days of forcing kids to visit aunt Ida are over. I guarantee you that very soon when she is a young working adult, she is not going to burn all her PTO and budget flying somewhere for cousin Wilma’s wedding. She isn’t going to great Uncle Hubert’s funeral in Nebraska. You need to start getting over this now.[/quote]

Holy hell! She also WILL be spending her PTO and budget to go visit her boyfriend and whatever she chooses, and not the parents paying (god I hope not). The parents ARE paying now, so a little respect and honoring their wishes at this time is absolutely not too much to ask for.[/quote]

Keep in mind this forum is full of miserable feds estranged from their flyover state families.[/quote]

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