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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So I’m a married man and will offer my perspective here.

I have consumed lots of pornography in life and I am convinced that it is a scourge in society, has warped male and female expectations about sex, and negatively impacted an entire generation of people since porn became widely available about 25 years ago.

First, let’s be frank about what is happening in most porn shoots — extremely vulnerable people who come from backgrounds where they were in most instances abused by other people are doing things with thier bodies that will live on the internet forever for a pittance of money — all for the sexual gratification of the person watching porn and so that a select few people at the top can make money off the entire enterprise.   It’s deranged and sickening when you think about it.   The people who perform in porn almost universally come from broken homes, and have drug or other interpersonal issues.  Would you seriously want your son or daughter doing porn?  We all know the answer to the question.  If we truly care about vulnerable members of society, then we should not be doing things which aid in their exploitation.

And before anyone even says it … the amount of truly “ethical” pornography is extremely small and even those situations usually involve some sort of manipulation or other unhealthy behaviors.

These are real people we are seeing in these videos and pictures — people who have hearts, minds, souls.   Let’s stop pretending otherwise.

Beyond that, the sheer amount of pornography available in society now is scales beyond anything we have ever seen before in human history.   The average kid in high school today has already watched more porn that the people who stormed d-day would watch in their entire lifetimes.   Think about that.   And it’s not just the amount of porn but the type of sex acts too.  I am not necessarily defending Playboy, but there was also some element of beauty and art to what they used to portray.  Most porn today is very far away from that.

Now the more personal — I grew up in the 90s when an aol Internet connection was a novel thing and I watched porn just about every day for almost 30 years.   It absolutely led me to have a very warped view of female sexual desire, true love-making, expectations around sex, the normalcy of certain sexual acts, and many other issues.   During my first marriage, when my then-wife and I hit a rough patch in our marriage, I started watching more and more porn and the boundaries between porn world and the real world became increasingly blurred.   I started taking small steps to combine the two — going to a strip club, talking in sexually charged chat rooms.  Eventually, I had a full blown affair with someone where I got her to act out every porn fantasy I had ever watched.   After that glow wore off — and it did — and the affair ended — I was left with the wreckage of a failed marriage, an extremely hurt ex-wife, and horrible feelings of guilt and shame at what I had done.

And yet … even after that … I didn’t stop.  I tried but couldn’t.   Porn was just an ingrained part of my life.   A prison I couldn’t escape.

Fast-forwarding, I eventually got married a second time.   I said I would not make the same mistakes again.  I said I could control my porn usage now.  That I knew the pain of an affair.   And yet … when marriage number two hit a rough skid a few years ago, what did I find myself doing again to soothe that pain?  More and more porn.  More intense porn.   The lines were starting to become blurred again and I felt like I was at a major crossroads in my life.

Thankfully, I picked a much wiser path this time.   I took a long hard look at my life and how porn had become this type of counterfeit god in my life.   And how I sincerely needed to change.   I joined a church.  I made real friends there.  I introduced accountability into the picture (if you use an IPhone, almost all porn will be blocked by the built-in blocking software if you just turn it on).   I started working with an executive coach who also didn’t believe in most of the modern therapy BS that porn is harmless.  He showed me what it meant to show up as a real man in my relationship.  I also came clean with my wife.   While I was terrified she would leave me, she had precisely the opposite reaction and showed me incredible love and grace.   We also started to professionally address serious intimacy issues both of us had in our marriage.   Our sex life is much better now and we don’t have this toxic substance floating around all the time.

Am I an extreme case?   Maybe, maybe not.   I’ve met a lot of men now who tell me some version of my story.  It’s crazy and wild.

I am very convinced that there are many men struggling out there in the world around this issue.

I hope my story shows that there can be change and you are not locked in this forever.

I also hope that this shows that it is not a harmless hobby.  Countless threads on this board revolve around affairs, bad relationships, sexless marriages, and the like.  I believe if you start to look beneath the surface, porn is playing a major role in many of these dysfunctions, even if people deny or hide it (I did both for a LONG time and never got caught).   It was only after I dealt with my porn problem, that my marriage dramatically improved overall.   [/quote]

“joined a church” ?

this post is extremely Charlie Kirk / MAGA[/quote]

Why do you say that?

I am the person who wrote it.   While I am a registered independent, I can tell you that I voted for Biden twice and Harris this past year.   If you looked up my name, I have made a single political donation to Biden in 2020 for the maximum amount.

Moreover, I am not a Charlie Kirk fan and was disgusted by the idolatry of Kirk by some at his funeral.  Christians were acting like he was Jesus or something instead of a very flawed person, just like all of us are.

It is amazing to me that people have such singular political lenses that the mere mention of attending a church is coded by some as a political statement.   It’s not.   Jesus was neither a Democrat nor a Republican, not a conservative nor a liberal.   He was something else entirely and you cannot put my faith into the typical political buckets through which everyone likes to sort things these days.

[/quote]

- because we know in reality you and your friends are really all christo-fascists who secretly support MAGA.[/quote]

Not to mention:  anti choice[/quote]

Typical porn addict deflecting [/quote]

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