Reply to Has anyone else just resigned to being single?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not "resigned" to it. I like being single. I make all the choices, I get what I want, nobody has any standing to have an opinion about how I live my life... Being single is pretty great. I don't get lonely because I have work to do and friends and a hobby (several, actually) that I love. I have pets for generic affection. I've always been able to get myself off just fine, and the thought of having another human around to "provide sex" is disgustingly transactional to me (not judging; you do you/yours however you like, provided it's consensual).

I've been happily single for long enough that it would take a minor miracle for me to ever couple up again. I'm not inherently opposed, but a potential partner's presence has to be better than my solitude. I don't need someone to complete me, or pay for me, or take care of me. I don't want someone who needs to be completed, or carried, or managed. That's a pretty slim window of opportunity. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'm good. I'm definitely not looking to give up my solitude to whatever nonsense headgames people are playing on dating apps and the like. I'm old-fashioned, or maybe just old, but OLD isn't for me. [/quote]

Have you ever had a great romantic relationship? That's the part I would have a hard time living without. [b]I love being in love.[/b][/quote]

I have, actually. The highs were amazing, but what goes up must come down. Personally, I don't find the comedown worth it. I have friendships and "otherships" (professional associations, volunteering, etc.) that provide a level of connection that maybe doesn't peak as high as a romance, but doesn't bottom out nearly as badly either. The stability is worth it to me.

I don't love being in love. It makes me feel stupid and out of control. I don't like getting drunk or high for the same reason. Not for me. Not gonna neg you if you do; I hope you have a happy love (or many) in a way that you find fulfilling. [/quote]

I'm the PP. I appreciate your thoughtful response. I think I'm lucky because I've never had the lows after being in love. Some relationships didn't work out romantically for whatever reason but I'm still friends with all but one ex. I also having loving relationships with people outside of my husband (not sexual, but loving), and I love the feeling of loving people and being loved. I do agree with you that someone's presence has to be better than my solitude - I like being alone and I don't spend time on people who don't fill my cup, for lack of a better way to say it. As much as I love my friends, I've always found something special in a romantic love that is different from my other relationships but I appreciate that you feel different and I'm glad you've built a life that you find fulfilling. [/quote]

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