Reply to Parents who drink heavily vs Non-drinkers and their expectations for their kids

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the focus on parents who drink responsibly in front of their kids, or even parents who let older teens drink with meals with the family, is a distraction. These are non-issues unless you're a really intense teetotaler. Whether you do these things or not, there is no evidence that mom or dad having wine or beer with dinner, or even allowing a 17 year old to have a small glass of wine with Thanksgiving, is the source of alcohol problems. These are not a big deal.

The parents who regularly get drunk in front of their kids are a question mark for me, because it's surprisingly common in the circle of mostly upper middle class, highly educated parents in our neighborhood and school community. Getting drunk every weekend at family barbecues, drinking entire bottles of wine while out trick or treating with kids, using language like "I *need* a drink", drinking to excess at kid's birthday parties. I've seen all of this behavior, around young kids (all 10 and under) and I think it's weird and concerning.

What is apparent to me is that a lot of people are using alcohol as a coping mechanism to get through work stress, parenting stress, awkward social situations, and mental health issues. This is not normal or appropriate social drinking. This isn't wine with dinner or while watching a movie, a cocktail at a cocktail party. This is regularly drinking 5, 10, or more drinks at events with kids, and using dependency language around alcohol.

And to a person, these folks all think they are just "fun" and "social." I think I am considered a sober person within the community because I will often only have one drink or decline to drink at all (largely because as I get older, I find even one drink can disrupt sleep and make me feel bad in the morning, and it's just not worth it). Even my husband, who will regularly have 2-3 beers at any social event, is considered essentially a "non-drinker" because he declines offers to do shots or partake in the "house cocktail" (that is like 90% alcohol) at someone's *kid's birthday party.*

It's all so normalized and clearly unhealthy. I don't get it.[/quote]

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