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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not upset, because I know my kids always try to do their best.

But concerned, definitely, especially in high school.

We chose to be part of the college admissions rat race. If you choose that too, then every grade matters. It's the first criteria colleges look at, because in their minds a high GPA shows stamina and dedication. Test scores are very important, and show applied knowledge (with some native intelligence thrown in): but they're a snapshot in time. Colleges are looking for the ability to work diligently for many years, since that's what's required to graduate from college, and also to be successful in one's career.

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This captures it.  There's no question that Bs reflect something about the kid.

I love my kids but their imperfect grades reveal a lack of concern, entitlement, and educational gaps vs. their parents.  I am attentive to all of these issues and try to parent for improvement, not 100% perfection.  My husband and I were nearly perfect students.  We try to be insightful and coaching-minded but we also know that our kids are innately capable of better if they care and display self-discipline.[/quote]

Serious question. What do you think will happen if they are not as self-disciplined as you expect them to be?[/quote]

I wrote then deleted a rant.

Here's my second try.

1) One college kid may not get into upper division college major because of poor grades in pre-reqs.

2) Parents will have to pay for grad school instead of it being free like ours was.  Kid probably "needs" it for desired field. That's tens to hundreds of thousands of $ spent that maybe didn't need to be.

3) Academic excellence skills tie to getting jobs (better track record), networking (impressing people), persistence of looking for opportunities, etc.  Parents will also be funding post-college life if early jobs aren't sufficient.  We are now talking about delaying retirement until our youngest is ineligible for family health care coverage.  Have a friend whose daughter is working at a FAANG in CS but daughter can't afford a safe apartment so friend is paying for apartment.  That kind of thing.  Our time and more money continuing to parent so that our kids become successful enough to remain middle class and healthy.

4) Younger child is the rare combo of hates school and does well in it.  B's are a sign that he "hates" the teacher and more trouble is to ensue.  That's immature, undisciplined, and also not a good sign for being an employee.  I told him half-seriously to let me know if he has a business idea.  I'd fund it just to get him to stop saying "F students are the inventors".

I believe parents prefer the well-trodden paths to success because probabilistically those paths have a reasonable chance of success.  I haven't observed a lot of luck among the "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow" crowd.  And I know when my kids get Bs that something is off.  And they've been offered whatever help they're willing to use and usually prefer non-intervention.  So I'm watching them choose to underperform.  It sucks.

So, person who asked, what do you seriously think is best? I do wonder if I should have followed conventional advice and bought a costly house in a better school district.  Part of the increased tolerance for mediocrity may be due to the peer environment.  But problems seem endemic throughout K-12 and college education today.

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