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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m going to echo some other posters here and tell you that you need to get durable and medical POA asap.  If your father suffers a cognitive decline, he could accuse you of stealing or manipulating him, even if you have the best intentions.  Even the kindest people can do a 180 once dementia begins.

POAs need to be put in place while someone still has their faculties. It can be an awkward conversation, but so important. Plus, it really cuts through a lot of red tape, and you can talk to providers or manage accounts directly. Once the window for getting a POA has passed, you’d need to apply for guardianship and the bar is much higher; the court might even appoint a neutral party as guardian.

And don’t feel guilty for reimbursing yourself.  Little things can really start to add up and you don’t want to get underwater yourself when someone has the funds to reimburse.[/quote]

This is true. My mother had what I now see was early dementia maybe from ministrokes. I realized something was wrong when I visited her after my stepfather died and saw a box where she just dumped all the mail, unopened. I offered to pay the bills and she had them sent to me and gave me the checkbook.

Then about 10 months later she demanded it back accusing me of stealing.

She let her neighbor "help out" he had been my stepfather's friend. Buddy ended up with everything in the house and I assume what money of hers was left. I got zero. I would have liked the pastel portrait of me when I was 9. I assume Buddy sold it for the frame.[/quote]

My MIL had everything stolen from her too but this is different than what OP is doing.  She can pay the bills, most online through autopay but she's talking about charging for every little thing she does.  With dementia they do accuse you of stealling. [/quote]

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