Reply to Dealing with GF who is a widow vs. divorced and her kids/my kids/grandkids

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Reply to "Dealing with GF who is a widow vs. divorced and her kids/my kids/grandkids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What exactly is it she wants you to do that you're not doing for your own kids?[/quote]

Her kids/grandkids are all 30/60/90-minute drives away, less than half as far as mine.  We go to every possible event with them.  Ratio of interaction is like 20:1 vs. mine who are twice as far away or more.[/quote]

Well, I can't blame her for wanting to go to all the things if they are not far. That ratio is bad but what do you want to do to make it fair? Accompany her less, or go to more of your family's events, or move closer to your family? [/quote]

All of the above! Stop falling into the honeypot for Pete’s sakes! Don’t you have any affection for your own flesh and blood?[b] As in, why would you be interested in going to another person’s kids events vs your own kids and grandkids? [/b][/quote]

OP, do you ensure that you reach out and phone/message/send gifts for holidays and birthdays?  Or do you just go to your girlfriends' family's birthdays and holiday events, waiting for your kids to reach out to you?

That was probably the most hurtful think my own dad abruptly started doing after he got with his girlfriend and became besotted with her and her kids/grandkids.  Our situation was a little different becuase my own mom had died years before, but it took YEARS to get used to the fact that Dad "forgot" my graduation, would "forget" my birthday (super obvious because he'd send me a short email on the night of my birthday, with no gift even though for many years I would go out of my way to try to pick out gifts for him at birthdays and holidays).  When grandkids on both sides entered the picture, my dad adored and doted on his girlfriend (eventually wife)'s grandkids, and didn't care about his own, acting as if they were strangers' children he was pretending to be polite about but didn't really want to know about or be around.

It has been ten years since I saw my dad.  I am not sure he has noticed this, to be honest.[/quote]

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