Reply to Has anyone successfully convinced visiting family to stay in a hotel?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it is generational.

As a child we shared rooms with siblings all the time! And elders took precedence so the idea of not wanting them in your home because your children are too precious to share a room does make me laugh.

But many of the older generation are aware that now elders are not seen as people to respect or treat well and kids should not in any way ever be expected to do anything for anyone else or do something as horrible as share a room or sleep on an air mattress so I am a but surprised that they are surprised. If you are online at all, you know that is the sentiment of current generatios. [/quote]

It's very weird that you don't feel respected unless you are allowed to inconvenience others and deprive children of a good night's sleep.[/quote]

This. OP ignore the people coming on here to guilt trip and say "in my day." Yes, they shared rooms and were inconvenienced for elders, and I remember the stories of resentment. Those were the days where instead of having boundaries women popped "mother's little helpers" or drank excessively to cope rather than saying "no." You set your boundary very respectfully and calmy letting them know you would love to see them, but this is what your family needs. You do not negotiate. They get to choose if they come or not. If they stop talking to you or threaten you, that is data. Love is not about manipulation, suffering, threats and guilt trips. Ignore those things. I know it's painful. I have been there. You stick to your boundary.

Now if it is truly easier over the summer and doesn't disrupt things, then sure offer to have them stay in your home during the summer when they visit, but hotel during school time. Don't offer it though if it's still a burden. I'm sure feathers are ruffled with the mention of burden and all the guilt-trippers will say "family is never a burden." Empathetic family members who think about the needs of others are not a burden. Entitled family members can absolutely be a burden. That's why you have to set the boundaries. They don't have boundaries.[/quote]

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