Reply to How do you cope if you regret having kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Divorced mom, 50/50 custody, 2 kids, 9 and 3. The setup now is a million times better than when I was married, but I still regret having kids (especially having a second).

Most days I feel like I’m just counting down the minutes until they go back to their dads’ and counting down the years until they leave for college. I always feel overwhelmed and like everyone understands this parenting thing except me. I resent that every day is a battle just to get them out the door, that I need to make snacks and drinks a million times a day, that they’re so damn expensive and I’ve watched all my money dwindle away.

I know it’s not their fault, I know I suck as a parent, I know they’re gonna end up with all kinds of problems because of this. But I can’t help that I really, truly regret all of this and just want my easy life back. [/quote]

Two options: 1) Give up custody, or 2) Love your kids.

Loving your kids doesn't mean having a feeling of love for them. Rather, it's just taking a step back and caring enough just to observe them as the individuals they are. Right now you are too much in your own head about what you feel you need to do because you are their parent. But if you step away from that mindset and recognize that they are two humans that are interesting in their own right, you might find that you actually want to spend more time around them than you think.

[/quote]

I’m not the OP but your snarky response is ridiculous. You can love your kids and hate having them and wish you had your life back. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent and you can still love them but the regret of having kids whether you plan to have them or not and it’s not what you thought it would be or it is what you thought it would be and it’s that bad does not mean you’re a bad person and it also doesn’t mean you should give up custody. It just means you need to learn to cope and it sucks but the genies out of the bottle and you can’t put it back in. The truth is sometimes the regret dissipates and sometimes it doesn’t. It does not necessarily get easier when kids get older. It just gets different.[/quote]

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