Reply to "Because I Have To Visit My Father"

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Reply to ""Because I Have To Visit My Father""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My spouse's father is in assited living in Richmond. He moved in last May. We are in Bethesda.

Every other Sunday since that time, my spouses leaves here around 9am drives to Richmond, visits their father,l often taking him to unch and drives back here, arriving home around 3 or 4.

All of the other Sunday chores -laundry, grocery shopping meal prep for the week, cleaning etc fall on me. We have two dogs, a cat, two kids ages 4 and 7 and it's dawning on me that this isn't really 'fair.' When I brought this up the response was "Because I have to visit my father". Like that obligated me to be a quasi single parent?

I've tried to move the shopping and cleaning to other nights of the week but it just doesn't stick. We both have busy schedules, long commutes, our eldest plays soccer, etc.

We've talked about hiring out the stuff we can but neither of us likes having a stranger in the house and we are both pretty picky about our produce so Insta cart is a non starter.

I guess what bothers me most is their refusal to admit that I'm the one being shafted in this arrangement.

Please give me helpful suggestions.[/quote]

I think you need to rehome your two dogs and cats. And adjust your thinking and mindset.

Yes, he needs to visit his father, and you actually have it easy that he is taking care of his dad, and it is not on you.

Get a cleaning person and adjust your expectations.  Because, the way you are thinking - you are the problem.  And where you are in your life, more challenges are natural to follow.

[/quote]

OP is right to be annoyed that the visits were decided unilaterally, but this is the reality of your life now and you need to adjust your thinking. The  PP above is giving you some cold, hard truths that you have too much going on for you and your wife to handle it all on your own. Get over not wanting to have other people around or having to pick your own groceries. Three pets is too many for anyone, let alone someone with 2 young kids and two busy jobs. What were you thinking? Make some decisions and work around your spouse. This situation won’t last forever.[/quote]

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