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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people.[/quote]

You seem sincere but might get bad advice on a forum full of women because women do not have experience planning dates.  Experiment with dating different types of women.  Warning - women in their young thirties tend to be anxious and hyper-focused on marriage.

How are you meeting these women?  Your dating profile probably needs more charisma and less career.

Dates should be in the evening, casual and flexible, and involve alcohol.  They should end near your place.  No sit-down dinners.  Maybe drinks and appetizers.  Sit next to her, e.g., at a bar, high-top table, or in a booth.  If she sits across from you, then tell her to look at a photo on your phone and sit next to her.

Good dates:  Ice skating, bowling, carnival games like Skee-Ball or Whack-a-Mole, dancing, street food festival, drinks, free Kennedy Center shows (most days at 6:00). Then bounce for (more) drinks.  Learn to play games such as Marry-Shag-Kill.  Do not submit to boring interview questions.  If a woman asks formulaic questions, then you can tell her you are not there to audition.  Or just say "boring!"  Or ignore it.  If a women turns your date into an interview or multilevel marketing pitch then she has violated the social contract.  You are paying and should not tolerate this.  Be prepared to eject on 10% of dates.

This attitude is empowering because it impels you to manage and save the date.   So you will pick a flexible, casual spot.  You will pick an engaging activity.  If things get ominously boring, then you will say "let's play a game!".  Then do something else.

Be fun.  I told prospective dates that I needed to verify they were (cis-) women.  Sometimes this was a pretext to get their phone numbers.  Other times I just asked what they call a make-up kit with a mirror.  The answer is "a compact", but most men don't know it.  The point is that I managed the frame and demanded that women meet some minimal standards.  They appreciated this instead of boring supplication.

Your dating profile is a blank canvas.  It is your job to fill it.  If you just copy/paste your LinkedIn data and show up to a restaurant in a suit or boring khakis, then you deserve a lame job interview.  If you post creative pictures, wear tight jeans and boots, or go jet skiing, then you create a completely different experience.  Seize this opportunity.

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Do not listen to this man. [/quote]

I agree with this man’s overall principle which seems to be - to have a fun date, you must be in a fun atmosphere and be a fun person. That’s great advice. His suggestion for execution are much less so.[/quote]

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