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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. It's interesting how divided the responses seem to be. Half the respondents think DH is reasonable and half think he's insane and we should give the kids junk food.

DH isn't actually rigid or controlling. He just doesn't buy junk food or processed food, but it's not like you have to try really hard to avoid that. Our kids aren't super interested in soda or junk food either, it's the grandparents who are really pushing it. A lot of DH's concerns stem from the health problems that my family has.

He also thinks it's important for kids to be active, but the kids think that's super fun how he goes out and throws balls, hikes, bikes, plays tag with them (they don't see it as a drill sergeant forcing pushups or making them run laps, which he doesn't do). I guess it's the same as me making sure I read to them all for 30 min a day.

Don't get me wrong, our kids have treats. Ice cream and chocolate mostly.

I think it's me with the anxiety knowing that my parents are sneaking my kids stuff behind our backs and then dh will be annoyed again. They've done it so many times, which is when dh goes berserk. Sometimes I think they do it on purpose just to piss us off. My parents won't stop. They also don't listen to us. For instance, they'll say "oh it's sugar free juice- see?" When dh and I think regular juice is better than some weird artificial sweeteners. They think we care about calories. [/quote]

I'm with your husband (and to an extent, you - just not you being the one angsting over all this). Sounds like your husband is quite reasonable and your parents are not being respectful of you/his quite reasonable way of parenting. This isn't a problem about your husband. It's a problem about all the grandparents.

It really shouldn't be that complicated. Your parents in particular need to see how frequently the kids are getting bad food/treats/too much sugar in the big scheme. They also get these treats when they see your husband's parents. Your parents are acting like your kids never get to have anything unhealthy. I know it's probably easier said than done, but this sounds like you just need one conversation: this is how we do food in our house and for our kids; we're find with occasional treats such as x, y, and z; we're not fine with you sneaking these foods and trying to rationalize them to us; we'd appreciate you asking us what we prefer (sugar-free v. regular orange juice); if you can't respect the priority we place on health and a healthy lifestyle or the way we choose to raise our children, then you aren't going to be able to see your grandchildren 5x/week - just once a week, then you can load 'em up with all the junk you want (but they stay with you until the sugar rush wears off!) And please consider us as parents who would like to treat our children ourselves once in a while - but we can't if you're constantly treating them all week long. [/quote]

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