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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there are a whole bunch of sanctimonious people on this thread — and none of us have 100% certainty of what our kids get up to. I don’t think my kid is a bully, she doesn’t have social media and I pretty much read all her texts to keep an eye on things. But I don’t actually know for sure what she gets up to at school.

Kids can be mean. Tweens and teens are figuring things out and sometimes they get it very wrong. It is a pretty good sign that your daughter has proactively disclosed this and feels remorseful. You definitely need to have some consequences. But, you also need to talk to her and help her work through ways in which she could handle this differently next time. Being an up-stander is harder than you think. Plenty of people on this thread probably have their own struggles with being an up-stander as an adult.

I now have a kid with profound intellectual disability. While I don’t think I ever bullied someone directly using the “r” word in the 80s, I am sure I used it casually to refer to situations and maybe people. I’m not proud of myself and wish I had done better. But I didn’t know better then. I certainly work hard now not to be a jerk as an adult. I didnt grow up to be a horrible person.[/quote]

Have you had regular conversations about bullying with your kid ?   You wouldn’t have to guess if you two talked about it. Kids have to hear it out loud that hurting another person with cruelty won’t be tolerated.  [/quote]

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