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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am guessing I'm not alone in this, and am wondering how others have handled it.

I attended a HYPSM. [b]My parents basically believe that maybe 10 colleges are good ones, and the rest are lousy. Or more precisely, the kids attending those other schools are not very bright or somehow not worthy. [/b]They literally roll their eyes at some of these schools, like Pitt and Wake Forest. I would be thrilled if my kid ended up at either of these! Not to mention many many others.

My parents sort of get that the college landscape has changed but not really, because they occasionally hear of some friend whose grandkid is going to Harvard or Columbia or some such, and then decide that those schools are attainable for my kids.

DH and I are trying to raise happy, healthy, secure kids who are motivated but also live a balanced life. My DD is about to enter 11th grade, and for the last couple years my parents have been pestering me on where she will be applying. I have avoided the subject, which until now hasn't been difficult because we've had no idea. But of course that will soon change and I am dreading upcoming conversations. DD is a great kid, but I think it's unlikely she'd be accepted (or even apply) to a tippy-top school.

What have others done in these situations, where parents/grandparents are relentlessly bringing this up every time they see you? Do you shut them out of the college search for your child (and to what extent? Would you not tell them you're visiting schools, or where you are visiting)? Would you refuse to share an SAT score if asked directly, and if your child didn't object to such sharing? Do you share limited information but then try to steer the conversation elsewhere? In my ideal world they would know nothing until DD has settled on where she is going but I am not sure if this is realistic, and what kind of friction would result. Thanks for any advice. I feel like I need to prepare myself but am not sure of the best approach.[/quote]

This erroneous belief is their problem, not yours.

I would shut them out of the college search altogether and definitely not share any SAT scores or similar information, including any academic information. That information belongs to your child and it is private.

[/quote]

My husband went to duke undergrad and UChicago for law my mil has no clue how college admissions and cost work.  She really assumed being a legacy gave her grandchildren free admission.  I am sure was disappointed her grandchildren went to UMD in state. lol.  She is not paying the bill and never said a word to me or the kids.[/quote]

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