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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]More details from the aggrieved stepchild: my dad left the house and all its contents to my stepmom--it is outside of the trust he created for the money we will get when my stepmom dies. So, she will likely leave that to my stepsister, which is also fine with me--it's her house and she can leave it to whomever she wants.

My stepdad put his and my mom's house (which I grew up in starting at age six) into the trust and the half-siblings will inherit our family home, in addition to $$$. [/quote]

I don't think a home belongs in a trust in most cases.  Don't complicate the life of your spouse upon your death.  If you have them, put other things in a trust for your kids.

[/quote]

He assumes he will die first and wants to make sure that my mom doesn't split the house 5 ways upon her death. Hence the trust.

I had the first grandchild in the family and he and my mom were at the hospital when she was born. I am not some money grubbing johnny-come-lately stepchild. It has all been a lot to process. [/quote]
Clearly he didn’t regard you as his family. True colors.[/quote]

Exactly. Hard pill to swallow. Family group chat still active daily with random banter. Lots going on under the surface (apparently). [/quote]
Does your mom have any insights? Did your stepdad pay for your college etc the same as your half-siblings?[/quote]

Have not broached with my mom. No, my dad paid for my tuition after high school. Before that, they split it (went to private in middle and high school). [/quote]
There’s your answer. He thinks it’s your dad’s job to leave an inheritance for you, just like he’s doing for his bio kids. [/quote]

Yep. The additional context is that he had an affair with my mom, which resulted in a divorce and our moving 1,500 miles away from my dad. Stepdad was a bit of a mess before his marriage to my mom, but got himself together and was a great parent and ended up having a successful career and making a lot of money over the rest of his life. His two bio kids were born when we (the stepkids) were still young and grew up in the same house and we were all treated as children/siblings with one another. We all have the same mom.

My dad died suddenly and tragically a few years ago, and, just as we suspected, his (my dad's) estate was set up perfectly to avoid conflicts, and was generous with my stepsister (not his bio kid and was an older teenager when my dad and stepmom got married)(she got an equal share). Especially in light of my dad's plan, it was surprising to learn that stepdad, despite our presence in his life over about 45 years and the fact that he kind of took another man's family away, did not feel obligated to do more than 1% for each of the stepkids. No one is demanding equal share, but 1% honestly felt even more insulting than getting nothing.

It just really redrew the lines and made clear that he felt zero guilt about how the family even came to be, including what we went through (divorce, conflict, frequent travel to see my dad, etc), and did not feel the need to acknowledge the role that we had in his life (a very stabilizing force) through his final act. Clearly he did what he thought was right/fair, but it's not how I would have handled it (and anyone who knows our family who I have told has expressed shock and dismay over it). All you can do is observe and remind yourself to do what works with your own values. I have some kids in my life who are not my own, but who I have included in my estate plan (nothing like an equal share with my own kids), regardless of other inheritances they might stand to get, to make sure they know they are family in my eyes. [/quote]
Wow, that is crushing. Everything you thought you knew and felt about your family took a kaleidoscopic turn. 
Definitely have a third-party executor take over. Otherwise, it will drain you. Big trusts like that require a lot of work. [/quote]

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