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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]49 years old, married 18 years. Sex 1-2 times a month but being honest, that's a good month. So probably like 10-15 times a year.

Been like this since oldest was born 16 years ago. It sucks. In my 30s and early 40s it was like the biggest problem but now that I am getting older, I don't care as much. Which is kind of sad. [/quote]

That is very very sad.[/quote]

Totally agree. We went to counseling and the counsel noted that by definition we were in a sexless marriage (10x a year or less, which was true at the time).

Thing is, we are both conventionally attractive and in shape. Just one of us isn't much of a sexual being.

I totally understand why people cheat. I wouldn't at this point, but I get it. [/quote]

I know this is hard on men, but I think it must be noted that many hetero women need a man who actively desires them, who can bring out their sexual side. Men have the (yes big and often burdensome) job of lighting the fire… but if you do, then the woman will respond and burn as much as you want her to. It’s a tale as old as time that once a woman is divorced she has a sexual awakening. This is because her DH let it go dormant. He was sleeping on their relationship, so her sexual self was sleeping too. [/quote]

I think this is misplacing blame on the husband for things that are actually pretty common for women:

1. How they feel about themselves determines whether or not they feel sexual.   The post baby body can put a cloud over that feeling of sexy-ness.  DH’s compliments can only do so much.

2. Sex needs to be exciting and its hard to make it that way over the long term - especially with a partner that you chose because they’d make a good husband and father.  Bad boys don’t make good husbands - they just make exciting sex.

3. Day to day life with someone wears away the sexy no matter how good of a person they are.

4. Last, its easy to be “over” sex when its not the best you’ve had.  When it comes to the bedroom, the dh will never be the high chemistry, dominant guy with a huge D who breaks your bed f’ng you. It was fun dating that guy but he was a trainwreck.[/quote]

How do I know that a man wrote this?   This isn’t how women think.  [/quote]

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