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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. This is tricky. I have 2 kids that fit this dynamic (one in high level sport who is very self motivated and driven) and the other a minimalist (minimal effort, which often gets minimal results). They are who they are. They’re mid teens.

My minimalist teen is older, has tried almost every team/ individual sport, gotten private lessons, did after school clubs, scouts, club sports, special camps, whatever they showed an interest in we tried. But ultimately they just don’t have the drive to work extra in things and quit everything. They just do high school sports now (often on the bench). That’s ok. They seem happy. I still go to all the games knowing my kid probably won’t play much if at all. I buy the swag. I say yes to ridiculous summer camps ($$$), we have done one on one trips to NYC, Miami, New Orleans, etc. Done lots of college visits. I’ve let them bring friends on vacations. Etc

But this minimalist teen is also a selective memory bean counter and has blinders on when there is an ask that is just ridiculous or undoable and we say no. And then the kid brings up the sports kid, and makes statements like OP’s DS that we don’t spend equal amount of time, don’t spend money on them, if it had been sport teen that asked we would have immediately said yes, etc, and tries to manipulate to get their way. It’s frustrating. On one hand you want your kid to feel loved and that they matter but on the other you don’t want to enable entitled behavior.

We still don’t know why LA (I read it as if LA was a match in size to Chicago and Miami, the other cities the other siblings had visited). So an eye for an eye so to speak. We also don’t know if this is a pattern, asking for big things to match in their eyes what they think the siblings are getting. It could also reinforce an entitlement issue. [/quote]

“Selective memory bean counter.”  “tries to manipulate.” “enable entitled behavior.”

Some of you really don’t like your children.[/quote]

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