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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The difference is confidence. For smart UMC kids getting into the best or their dream school is the culmination of everything they have worked for in their young lives. So many high stat kids pushed themselves, did extracurricular to get into college and focused on that goal. When they succeed, they have a surge of confidence, feel they will do great things and it shows in their engagement. They are thrilled to be there, they believe they deserve to be there and they are happy to be there. They will ignore shortcomings at their university because they are happy to be there.

If they fail to get into what they consider a top school and in this world most of these kids do feel they failed, it’s a blow to their confidence. If they were sure they would get into a particular college it’s a blow to their identity. Some really can set this pain aside and move on quickly but for others they mask their suffering. They loose confidence in themselves, no longer feel they can conquer the world, and may have trouble adjusting to the college they did get into and choose. If they see others less qualified going to better schools, they will wonder what is the point, they can’t win. Any shortcoming will be magnified. It seems to take a year or two for many kids to process and heal from this.

The biggest peer difference in terms of intellectual stimulation will be with peers who aren’t secretly devastated they are there. [/quote]

This is definitely part of what makes it so different and I have a kid that “won” and one that didn’t in their mind. [/quote]

In the 80s, when I went to a flagship I chose and I asked my friend what it was like to be at Penn, she told me that she was sick of all the people complaining about not getting into Harvard and Yale.  Times have changed and people are probably more grateful now but that was my first little peek at the maladjustment that comes with being focused on exclusivity.[/quote]

Hahaha, I had exactly that experience at Northwestern in the early 90s. Lots of bitterness about missing out on the Ivy League.[/quote]

I went to Duke and was expecting that and there was none of it. I was very pleasantly surprised. I turned down a lower level Ivy to go there, but had not gotten into the SLAC that was my top choice. Best thing that ever happened to me.[/quote]

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