Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous]First, at 4 months post-partum, now is simply not the time to approach your wife about this issue. You're just going to have to wait it out for another couple of months. Take "care" of your needs on your own in the meantime. Also, take care of her more by arranging for some free time out for her as well as some date nights for the two of you, without asking for sex.

If you love and appreciate your wife, who just went through 9 months of pregnancy, the physical punishment of childbirth, and is still the primary caretaker of an infant (including breastfeeding, maybe?), it really should not be too much for you to take some physical "sacrifice" during this time.

Second, when you do approach the subject again, don't just tell her that you need more sex, that *your* needs are not being met.  It will just come across to her as someone putting more demands on her already stressed and overextended condition and will probably just make her resentful that there is one more chore that she *has* to do.

Instead, frame it more as an issue of you being concerned that the lack of physical intimacy may be a symptom of deterioration of the relationship or her being unhappy. Don't tell her that you need physical release, that'll just make her feel like a masturbation device. Tell her that you want to spend more time with her, that you want to express your physical affection for her, that you miss *her*- her body, the way she looks when she orgasms, the way she tastes, etc., whatever it is that turns you on about her. Tell her, for example, that you crave to have her more and have been fantasizing about making her come, and that you'd love to give her pleasure on a more frequent basis.

The poster who suggested you read some women's erotica/romance is onto something. Most women's sexual desire is awakened by feeling desired, by knowing that somewant wants them desparately and is dying to enjoy their body and give them pleasure.

If you can't think of what it is you desire about her, and you don't really want *her*, you just want sex and she's the one you can have it with, then you're probably not going to have much success asking for more sex. She needs to feel desired because it's her, for who she is to you and not just because she's the vagina that is available to you.[/quote]

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