Reply to Are those of you with very arrogant, condescending kids aware of it? Does it bother you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are the kids? The example you gave wouldn’t be something I’d notice. The kid is stating a fact (they’re different brands).[/quote]

If the jackets are both the same shade of green, then they match regardless of brand and it's weird and rude for the second kid to draw a distinction based on the brand.

That's also definitely a learned behavior. The kid is conscious of the brand and the idea that it is nicer/more expensive.Thats coming from parents.[/quote]

Probably not much of a learned behavior. Kids have access to a ton of information. Group think is strong. Remember what kids were snobby about when you were kids? Did that come from your parents? My parents weren’t aware of all that.

Kids like brands that aren’t remotely relevant to us. They’re capable of following their own group think.[/quote]

16 yr olds, yes -- brand preferences are influenced more by media and peers. But younger kids are mimicing parents. I also know adults who insist on referring to their belongings by brand -- "I left my Patagonia in the Audi" -- and kids will pick up on that and mimic it as part of language learning. If an elementary school kid is very aware of and vocal about brands, that probably coming from family culture.[/quote]

I have many jackets and we have four cars. I may describe item with brand. However, I can’t imagine in what scenario I would say this to another person. I may tell DH that I left my black Patagonia or blue montcler in the Lexus. Could he please get it. I may say our son left his Celtics sweatshirt or blue Nikes. I’m not sure how else to describe the item.[/quote]

Lol if you are needing to specify "blue montcler" to distinguish it from your other montclers, then yes you are a brand snob and your kids are picking up on it and probably copying it. Overconsumption of luxury goods is part of brand snobbery and kids especially absorb that kind of behavior and it becomes normal to them to have, for instance, multiple of the same luxury item in different colors, without any awareness that this is a level of luxury and consumption accessible to less than 1% of the global population.

[b]This is how rich kids become horrible snobs, because they don't even realize what they are doign is snobbery or condescending. They don't understand their own privilege and wealth.[/b] It is your job as their parent to give them context and help them understand that your lifestyle is atypical and they need to learn to be thoughtful and self-aware. But then... that requires you to be thoughtful and self-aware. Are you?[/quote]

I struggle with this but at early elementary school ages, kids don’t really know any better. The other day someone brought up chocolate dessert and my kid blurted out “I like Belgian chocolate the best.” He doesn’t know that couldn’t be seen as snobby. He also happily scarfs down Twix and supermarket brownies and whatever else of course. We traveled to Belgium and did a chocolate tasting workshop over spring break and that’s where the comment came from.

Another time we went out to dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant (for a special occasional, not because this is a regular occurrence for us) and the server said “This next course is garnished with caviar from xyz…” I think to signal to us that my kid might want to skip this course. But he smiled at her and said, “I love caviar!”

Our issue is primarily with food and culture (not luxury clothing), but how do you get a kid to read the room if all the upscale things we have experienced are completely normal to him? [/quote]

By modeling it. FWIW, neither of the examples you gave read as snobby to me -- it's just a kid who has been exposed to some nice stuff and liked it. That's fine.

There's a difference between just saying "I love [expensive thing]!" and saying to a peer "I have more expensive/luxurious belongings than you." It's okay to like nice things. It's condescending to act like having more expensive belongings makes you a superior person. And that nuance will come from your behavior and how you talk about these luxury experiences you are sharing with your kid. And also how you talk about other people, especially people who don't have access to the same lifestyle you do. Your kid is soaking it all up.[/quote]

I’m the pp with blue Montcler. My kids are well traveled and eat well. I’m proud of how cultured they are. They have friends who only eat chicken fingers and pizza. We don’t act snobby towards them. I cater to their tastes. One kid used to never eat at my house and DS told me that Johnny only eats chicken fingers. Whenever he comes over, I make sure I serve some type of chicken.[/quote]

It’s a Moncler jacket.   People keep misspelling it so I thought someone should speak up. [/quote]

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