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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body.  He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about my body.  
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom.  And those are both terrible.  [/quote]

You really need to work on that voice in your head.[/quote]

I’m okay, really.  Terrible was probably a strong word to use.  But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom.  I’m not winning any beauty pageants.

It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day.  If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed.  If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that.  If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good.   If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on.  Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.

You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.   
[/quote]

I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow [/quote]

I don't need you to TELL me. I need you to believe it, live it, show it. If you don't believe it, can't live it, can't even pretend it for show... yes, good idea on staying single.

And I can't say about all married men. I CAN say that once I found one, I stopped looking. [/quote]
Np. Very hard for me to “believe” or “pretend” you are “beautiful” when you are fat. [/quote]

DP.

So you don't believe she is beautiful, and she does not want to have sex with you, I'd say it is fair. No complaining about her sex drive then, no?[/quote]
No it’s not fair when kids are involved. Its not fair to upend the lives of innocent kids when you cannot figure out how to fix your mental issues and somehow believe a husband is supposed to find his fat wife as attractive. If i was fat I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive nor tell me how handsome I look [/quote]

Interesting.

So it's not fair to the kids that a woman does not want to lose weight.

But it's fair to them that you are not willing to pretend that she is attractive but at the same time [b]you want to walk away from the marriage if she does not want to have sex with you?[/b][/quote]
Yes because sex is an essential part of marriage along with other things. It is not possible for a healthy normal libido man to be celibate long term 
[/quote]

So sex is essential, but you are not willing to do what needs to be done to make it happen. But it's the woman's fault and not yours?[/quote]

No i m not willing to tell a fat wife i find her attractive. Onus is on her to lose weight if she is fat. Just like I wouldn’t expect my wife to find me attractive if I was fat or a lazy couch potato. It would be my responsibility to fix myself.

What’s worse is that fat women actually believe it when their husbands tell them they are attractive.

Anyway I need to get back to work. Might be back if I have time[/quote]

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