Reply to why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective [b]I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way  I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else [/b]

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. [b]This type of behavior has repeated itself many times[/b], and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.[/quote]

OP, I joined this thread ready to be team OP and I just can't. In this one long run on sentence you start by acknowledging that you understand your DH wanted something different than what you wanted and you should have respected that, but then jump to the mental gymnastics of how moving the lunch 30 minutes later was somehow respecting his desire not to go to lunch (???) and then doubling down on FD being a family day and criticizing the handyman visit.

Your DH wanted to stay home and tend to errands on FD. You wanted him to go to a lunch with your son. You went ahead with the lunch plan and then act confused when your DH gets mad about it. You will not make any progress in your marriage until you acknowledge that those are the facts: you ignored what your DH wanted because it conflicted with what you wanted. Yelling is not ok, but when you also say that this behavior has repeated itself many times, it makes me think there have been other times when your husband communicated quite clearly and you ignored it because you didn't like he was communicating.

Whether you two have compatible ideas is a separate issue (i.e., should your DH have sidelined his desire on FD in favor of your and your son's desire? that is a matter of opinion).[/quote]

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