Reply to In-laws upset they can't visit ON grandchild's birthday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let them be upset, OP.

They can visit at another time, but if I'm hosting one set of parents, I don't have bandwidth for the other set. At most, we'd do a large family dinner at a restaurant with the 4 grandparents, but they certainly wouldn't be visiting in my house during that time!

Think of this as a great opportunity to reset expectations going forward, as you said. In the future, your kids choose what to do on their birthday. Grandparents are not the priority here.

[/quote]

The kids can choose what they do on their birthday but [b]I am not turning away my parents or my inlaws[/b] who want to celebrate with them sometime the birthday week, whether that is at home or a restaurant. None of this is complicated or difficult nor should it cause drama. [/quote]

DP that's fine for your situation.

OP should not be criticized for setting boundaries around high maintenance in-laws.

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I am unclear how they are high maintenance. Again, wanting to celebrate a grandkid's bday is not HM.[/quote]

It is HM if it dictates without mutual consideration how the parents have to spend their time, money, and energy. The parents already have visitors they are hosting. This is not a little kid’s birthday and one set of grandparents is getting left out. This is a once a year visit by extended family. The other grandparents can celebrate on a different day for this one time occasion. They very likely see the grandkids more frequently.

If I had to cater to every demand of my in-laws because they want to spend time with my kids, I would be hosting all the time and have no time alone with my kids and family. As parents, we are exhausted and don’t have to people please for everything. Loving and respectful family members understand this. [/quote]

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