Reply to Please give it to me straight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't really understand why you think he would see, value or respect what you do and contribute when you don't see, value or respect what he does and contributes. In every post you minimize or dismiss everything he does for the family.

You are the SAHP so yes most of the childcare and domestic work falls on you - that is your contribution to the family. His is all the financial responsiblity and ensuring the families needs are met. Yours is the hands on help.  That is a traditional family model and traditional gender roles.

Neither of you wants to form any kind of connection with the other or meet the others needs. You went outside the marriage and cheated. You are both resentful and reactive.

There is no moral highground for you here. You want something from him that you aren't willing to give him yourself. [/quote]

OP here.

They are his kids, too. Should he not have a role in helping to raise his own kids because 1950s gender roles say he doesn't need to?

[b]I have said numerous times before, that I want to contribute financially to our home but he will not allow me to do so.[/b]

He dismisses the idea time and time again because he says I won't make enough for it to be worth it and it will take away from me raising our kids.

I can appreciate the work to get the paychecks, but why does that absolve him from being a parent?[/quote]

Sounds like you're in a 1950's marriage[/quote]

OP here.

Yes, it seems like it, which is why I was asking the PP why he gets a pass on child rearing his own kids.

Yes, I am a SAHM but why even on the weekends I'm still shouldering everything child related? The man doesn't even step up to make breakfast on the weekends so I can eat with the kids.

I always have to ask, and even then, he has to run out and do something like it's an emergency instead of helping me.

He doesn't believe in feeding our kids before he has his coffee/he's satisfied.

If I wait to get the kids going and he finally comes around, he doesn't know what to do and still has to ask me.

It's utterly exhausting. So I just end up continuing to do everything myself, even on the weekends.

Why.. why..[/quote]

What you allow will become. [/quote]

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