Reply to H’s ADHD can’t be fixed. Now what?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did he have ADHD when you started dating him? I'm sure he did. Why do all these women suddenly once they are married and have kids, suddenly act like they can no longer deal with the mentally ill man they married? This is really bizarre to me. It seems to me that y'all just wanted someone to have kids with and once you got that covered you n longer need them.[/quote]

Again, ADHD gets worse the more you burden the patient with tasks. So a young single who has yet to climb the ladder at work and rents an apartment can appear perfectly normal. 15 years later, his life can fall apart because he can't keep up with the house, the kids, and his more important job at work.

You should know this. Do better.

[/quote]

This is not clinically true. To actually be ADHD there are symptoms in childhood. It is not something that suddenly appears in adulthood. [/quote]

PP you replied to. I am the spouse and mother of males with ADHD and autism. ***I've been through the wringer***. My husband was diagnosed when our son was diagnosed. Maybe today, teachers might warn clueless parents that their kid needs to be evaluated. But the middle-aged husbands of DCUM women? Most of them were categorized as distracted in school, probably, or troublemakers, or boys who didn't reach their full potential.

My point was that WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE BLAMED WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT THEIR HUSBANDS HAVE DIAGNOSES, OR SYMPTOMS THAT ARE GETTING WORSE. Just like men should not be blamed for their wives' diagnoses or symptoms later in life.

What I said is absolutely true. Young adults can keep it together well enough to get married and hope for a great life. And then some can't manage anymore with the mountain of stress, stimuli and executive function challenges that families, home-ownership and work responsibilities entail. So even if people marry in the full knowledge of a diagnosis, they probably never imagine how bad it might get!

So PPs, do better. Shame on you for always blaming the woman![/quote]

Shame on you for blaming the person with a disability (which they were likely completely unaware of) for their disability.

Do better.[/quote]

You need to get over this 'disability = AH pass' nonlogic you keep trying to use. It's not "blaming the person with a disability" to point out that, disability or no, he's still responsible for his behavior and choices. You keep attacking people on the thread for saying some variation of that, as if having a disability means you can't be held accountable for what you choose to do. If you're so disabled you can't make choices, maybe, but that's not what's going on with OP's spouse. Dude is making a ton of shite choices, and he's responsible for the fallout. If he's concerned he may have a disability, it's his responsibility to seek treatment and work on himself/his life. It's not his wife's job to mother him through adulthood.[/quote]

There are multiple people posting on this thread.  You also can’t seem to read.  OP’s husband has sought treatment- it’s right there in the very first post.

Sorry, you don’t get a pass for being stupid but spouting off with your idiotic opinion anyway.  Put you cap on and go sit in the corner where you belong.[/quote]

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