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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stay out of it. I was this girl in high school. Let her handle it.[/quote]

+1 this was me and I'm also Indian American.

You don't have to straight up lie to her parents and pretend she's elsewhere at some group hangout or whatever. But if she's telling them a white lie, you don't need to get involved.

FYI my parents would never have allowed me to date in HS even if they met the other family and thought they were perfectly fine. So your heart is in the right place OP but this girl is navigating a fine line and I would let her be.[/quote]

I wanted to add - in HS they definitely didn't want me dating but by college they sort of preferred the white lies / didn't need to know every detail since I wasn't living with them anyway. Now I'm married with kids, DH isn't Indian but they love him. Things get sorted out but teen years can be prickly for immigrants and their kids. This is really between the girl and her parents to figure out in terms of their rules and how she follows or pushes them.[/quote]

+1. Another Indian-American, who grew up with very strict parents. [/quote]

+2.

Indian and many Pakistani parents are extremely strict.[/quote]

Pakistanis girls grow up to marry their own cousins.  Its actually called "cousin marriage".  Also they marry quite young.   So the  aim of Pakistani parents is not to curtail their teen's sex life, it is just to make sure that their DD gets married to some young man from the family or friend circle so that the DD's partner is someone the parent's  approve of and it is all legal.

Indian families on the other hand do not want their kids to be interested in any sex, dating, romance - while in school. 
In fact, the Indian parents approve of mental and physical sexual abstinence of their children through education years wholeheartedly.  It is a matter of pride to have kids who are reaching all academic and EC milestones and usually this means that kids are too busy to date.

The first priority and complete attention of the children should be to get an excellent education and that should result in an amazing career.  This is true of both girls and boys.  Sex, romance, dating is seen as a distraction that derails the childrens future.  Indian parents mostly do not deal with teen pregnancies, vaping, drug use, dating violence etc.  They do not give an opportunity to their children for these dynamics to occur.

The calculus is very simple, the only thing that Indian kids can depend on is their education. As an adult, a good career will result in the solid financial and social standing that will enable them to have a successful personal life.  The usual worry of having a socially isolated kid is not an issue because the one thing the I[b]ndian-American kid does not lack is social interaction in their personal life[/b].

The girl is the problem in OP's original post.  She is rebelling because of new hormones and the attention of the boy.  She is probably also hanging out with other girls who are into boys, sex etc and she wants to be like them.  She is influenced by her peer group.  I blame her parents. They need to keep a closer eye on this girl. [/quote]

Having a lot of community and family around you doesn’t prevent personal loneliness and social isolation.

But that's not something I'd expect you to understand with your formulaic thinking. Most Indians still rooted in "Indian" culture think this way. Two to three generations out, no one's following this path
[/quote]

No one needs a romantic partner in k-12 school.  It is not age appropriate.  If you think this is rooted in "Indian" culture then you are mistaken.  Even if it is formulaic - education-college-job-marriage-family - all at the right time and in the right sequence,  the results are pretty fantastic for Indian American kids.

BTW- USA is no longer the land of endless opportunity.  A lot of old world practices are coming back so that people can survive.  Stay tuned for the rise of multi-gen households.  A practice around the world, but I am sure most will think it is "Indian".[/quote]

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