Reply to When someone asks a favor they should not ask

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do they do it? [b]This person is in a big bind[/b] but the favor is a lot to ask. I was cornered and did not say yes and now they are pissed. This is the sort of thing I’d never ask of someone. [/quote]

I'll go against the grain here and say that I think most people don't know what it's like to have a sudden big problem and nobody to help, and have to force yourself to ask someone you aren't that close with for help.  Yes, lots of people in life will take advantage, but there are also people who have no support and are truly in need through no fault of their own.  I used to be poor and have no family who could help me when I was in my early 20s, and I remember how humiliated I was when I had a sudden, severe dental issue and couldn't pay to get it fixed. [b] I asked the one friend I had who was wealthy, and she said no.  She said she didn't believe in lending money to anyone because it ruined friendships. [/b] I never forgot that.  To this day, I know she has no idea at all of what it felt like for me to be so desperate and stressed and alone, and to badly need that money that would have been nothing to her.  I would have paid her back.  And it would have meant so much to me at that time.

[b]So when a colleague I don't know well awkwardly appeared in my office a few months ago and asked if she could borrow $1300, I gave it to her. [/b] I didn't say anything about repayment, and I went to an ATM and got cash, and just gave it to her.  I have no idea what she needed it for, but she had tears in her eyes as she asked, and I imagine she must have asked other people who refused.  I don't want to be the kind of person with a blanket policy on NEVER helping another person if I can easily afford to do so.  My colleague repaid me a month later.  She is a responsible professional who does a great job at work, keeps to herself, and I truly believe she had some kind of unexpected problem that was embarrassing, and it must have been so hard to ask for help.

And I know people are going to now say that maybe she is a drug addict, or used it to buy a luxury item she can't afford, or similar, but I don't care.  I want to be the kind of person who is willing to take a chance and help, with no questions and no strings.  Not EVERYBODY is trying to manipulate or use you.  Maybe most people who ask are, but what about the few who are really in need?  I don't want to live in a world where everyone just accepts that the right thing to do is immediately refuse.  There are a lot of people who have fallen far through no fault of their own, and from their side, it really can seem that if you are unlucky enough and fall far enough, you end up in a place where people shy away from you and your need as a matter of course.

Life is super short.  Take a chance.[/quote]

Uh, your friends response was totally within bounds and your response to your colleague is honestly kind of nuts.[/quote]

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