Reply to People who loved their partners/spouses but cheated anyway

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Jeez, you guys over-think this.  I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex.  As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat.  I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.  [/quote]

+10000 similar story for me but I’m a DW. I simply enjoy having sex. [/quote]

For those in "dead bedrooms" here's how it works. 
1. Talk to your spouse about sex. Are they okay with the amount you are having, or do they want more? Express you would like more but want it to be consensual. Is it possible to change circumstances to allow for each others' needs to be met?
2. If the answer is not interested, what about an open relationship?
3. If the answer to that is no, then talk about how this is an important need for you in a marriage and proceed to separation.

A lot of people fail at #1. If you have kids and you've never at least tried to plan a date night with a hotel booked, you have no standing to complain about your sex life.[/quote]

That’s not how it typically works. Typically the spouse withholding won’t engage in the conversation acknowledging that it’s an issue. Often berating the other for bringing it up. 
[/quote]

The fact that you even use the word “withholding” is a huge tell. [/quote]

^^ this. It’s exactly the kind of chaff thrown up by the spouse who doesn’t want sex. Understands exactly but won’t address the issue [/quote]

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