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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs. [/quote]

Because it's really nobody's business.  We help our kids.  [b]Our approach is "Die with zero"[/b] and we firmly believe that slowly gifting them the $$ now, in their 20s will be much more beneficial than them receiving a windfall in their 50s+ (they will get that as well).  As long as they in meaningful to them careers and working hard, we will continue to do so.  It's really nobody else's business.  Our kids recognize their privilege and don't brag about it.  One is 26, and knows that their chain of command must know their parents are rich, because they go on at least one very nice vacation yearly with us.  But beyond that nobody knows or needs to know.  They know most people have student loans and have to do it themselves.  
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I know you want to die with zero, but how much do you have as a buffer?  I think many people read these boards and start comparing what they can do for their kids to what others are doing at their retirement's cost.  Is there a number you are holding on to for retirement and end-of-life care?  DH and wouldn't feel comfortable making monetary gifts for our adult children if our net worth fell below $5m, for example.  We are helping his parents now through their final years, and we see how expensive it is.  It also causes some resentment in our marriage that we can't do more for our kids because his parents were irresponsible - they didn't help him with college or anything after he was 18 years old, and now we're funding their retirement years. The most important gift we can give our kids is not to burden them with the cost of our end-of-life care.  [/quote]

We have plenty.  We are UHNW.  We earn almost 7 figures yearly from just interest/cash alternatives.  And we live on that quite easily.  That is without using any of the principle, and it does not include the $8M in homes (fully paid off), our retirement accounts, SS (when we take it--hey every little bit helps) and our other investment accounts (invested fully in the market, not the cash alternatives that earn us interest).  So I think we will be just fine.  We could need round the clock care for 15-20years + (each of us) and still have plenty left for the kids when we die.

But yes, you do want to ensure you are not a burden to your kids.  But once you have done that, then gifting them $$$ now is a much better approach (IMO) than waiting until we die (at hopefully 85+ and our kids are 50+)  [/quote]

LOL. So you’re not actually dying with zero. [/quote]

No, we are taking the approach from that book of starting to gift while we are still alive.  So we can also see the benefits and watch our family enjoy while alive.

And our kids won't be getting it all, a lot will eventually go to charity, but not until we die, as we want to keep enough if we need major care in our later years.

[/quote]

Nice, but not relatable for most readers.  If you have $1m from interest, and you are getting 5% on your interest from cash and cash alternatives, then you probably have~ $20 million invested in cash/cash alternatives paying 5% interest to generate $1,000,000 in annual interest income.  Plus, you say you have an $8m home and retirement accounts.  And I'm sure you have other private investments.  So, in your case, you should be giving money away now because you are probably above the estate tax limit of $27.22m for a married couple, and you have more than you need. Even if you give away a lot of money, you can still afford to do nice things for yourselves.

Many people here reading these posts have $3m or less, and giving away chunks of their relatively little nest egg is foolish because they still have retirement and end-of-life care ahead of them.   People should be comparing apples to apples.  [/quote]

Well yes, I do agree, you should not be giving away money unless you have enough to fund your retirement. [/quote]

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