Reply to Ladies when did you stop turning heads?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Ladies when did you stop turning heads?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a different set of circumstances.  I was objectively hot in my 20s, but looked rough in my 30s - first, pregnancy took its toll, then, I developed an autoimmune disorder, then, perimenopause.  I had grown used to being invisible.  But then, I lost all of the weight at 43-44.  The heads that turn now are older, but I definitely get much more attention than I have in many years.  Even full body scans.  I figure I have another 3-4 years, max, before I become invisible again.  [/quote]

You likely underestimated your attractiveness in your 30s and are overestimating it now. Instead, it was/is about confidence. You had kids in your 30s and sure, you probably gained weight and looked tired. But the biggest thing is that becoming a mom upends your sense of self and feels relegating in terms of society. You lost your conference device and your focus was also constantly pulled to your kids. Then your kids got older and needed you less, you found yourself again and were able to focus on yourself (which led you to lose weight), and that has resulted in more confidence.

A similar thing would have happened if you'd had kids in your 20s, or your 40s. It's not the weight or your appearance, it's how you feel and your position in society impacting your confidence and sense of self.

Our culture is weird towards moms, especially of young kids, asking an enormous amount from them while also treating all that effort as worthless somehow. It's really hard to feel attractive through those years. I was actually at my thinnest about two years after having my last kid, and I've never felt less attractive.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics