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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is an interesting topic for me (and one I have been cogitating on, examining my new role in the world). I am 57 and was very attractive when I was younger.  Pretty hot until late 40s I think it is fair to say. Not just good looking, but charismatic; witty, engaging, super smart. (Being honest here in an anonymous forum).  I am still decent looking but let’s get real - no woman at 57 is “hot” ….and I am finding that is okay!  But it is interesting to ponder the change in the way one interacts with the world.  Mulling further, I am still smart and witty and fun (again trying to be frank about how I navigate the world as an older woman) so that gives me currency - but it is absolutely different than when I had the “it”/hot factor. But not worse different (since other things have come to replace that urgency of youth to  be desired), just different. It happens to everyone, OP - embrace it!  .[/quote]

At 63, I don’t miss being admired, but there is a slow and steady realization that men don’t really engage with women they aren’t attracted to. All joking and intellectual banter between the sexes is just gone. I thought I was smart and funny, but I was just younger and attractive. Men don’t really want to have just normal everyday conversations with me. It’s okay- I have been married forever and I am not interested in any new intimacies. Now I just talk to women, who don’t scan the room when I speak. [/quote]

It is so true that if you are young and pretty, everyone is friendly and helpful. It was not until I started to lose my looks that I realized much of that was a function of my appearance. There are studies that prove this. It is somewhat disillusioning. I don’t think the people who operate this way are even necessarily aware of their biases.

(And when someone powerful at work came on to me, after having previously praised my work or talent..,it was such a letdown. My actual work merited the compliments, but they were being offered for the wrong reasons!)[/quote]

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