Reply to What is the parenting secret of Orthodox Jewish families?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Like Catholics, Mormons, and other religious groups with big families, they expect the older children (especially the older daughters, but sons too) to help. It’s a lot easier to handle a bunch of kids when the big ones change diapers, wipe noses, put on shoes, read books, etc. [/quote]

+1. I saw a group at a playground yesterday and my first thought was "I bet they were really glad the first 2 kids were girls" because the older girls were doing a lovely job helping the little ones, while the two oldest boys ran around with sticks. Not that boys couldn't help, but the gender divisions are pretty strict with the way they are raised, so they wouldn't naturally be asked to.[/quote]

Palm to forehead. This is what happens when the broader culture knows nothing of raising children. 
Children- males and females, but most especially females- LIKE doting on younger children. It’s *natural* even if they are NEVER asked to. How do I know? I have five kids and was so afraid of the allegation of “parentification” that I hired au pairs. But the older kids WANT to help just like you WANTED to have children. It’s human and good to have a desiring toward care for the more vulnerable. [/quote]

You're not the only one in the world with kids and not all kids are the same. I can assure you my oldest never wanted to help until he was 10 years old. He would argue literally every time I said "can you please go get x." We had a LOT of conversations about his role in the family and how he needed to help. Only in the last 2 years has the answer changed to "sure mom" when I ask him to do things. If I'd had 5 kids and expected him to help with diapers and such, I'd have had to resort to corporal punishment, which I'm not a fan of.

Obviously cultural expectations may make things different too, not just personality. But Orthodox families do tend to be quite gender-conformist. The average such family is not having their oldest boys help with diapers and cooking if there are girls around to do that.[/quote]

kids should not be parenting siblings  Dont have more kids than you can care for.[/quote]

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