Reply to Anyone have an adult child who seems to hate you suddenly and for no apparent reason?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a blame-your-parents-for-everything movement in the internet. It's trendy to call parents "emotionally immature", "neglectful", etc. [/quote]

Yes.  In the midst of this right now. [/quote]

calling it a "movement" is dismissive and trivializes a loved ones feelings. your emotional reaction to someone giving voice for their feelings says more about you than the other person.

we dont need to agree on feelings, but its important to validate, empathize and discuss options for moving forward. lack of validation and empathy is very destructive to relationships.

[/quote]

Sounds like it comes straight from a therapist's mouth (and I have a MSW).

Even the dictionary buys into this now "validate: demonstrate or support the truth or value of.
"in a healthy family a child's feelings are validated"

We had a son in an intensive OP program for anxiety/depression.  We were told that we always needed to "validate" what he was saying.  The problem is that anxiety and depression, by their nature, cause distortions of thinking.  Therapy used to be about challenging these distortions and helping people see relationships, etc. clearly.  Now, therapists sit in a bubble and hear only the patient's assertions and expects the world to mold around those.  It is fine to try to understand where someone is coming from, but making OP's daughter feel that only her perceptions and feelings are legitimate is a recipe for problems.  [/quote]

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