Reply to Anyone have an adult child who seems to hate you suddenly and for no apparent reason?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom and I had a terrible relationship from 16-23ish but we ended up best friends. It’s possible.[/quote]

Do you know how you and your Mom made this positive turn?[/quote]
I think it helps a lot if you stop acting like you're the mom and she's the kid and you try to build a relationship as adults.  Don't offer advice. Don't tell her what to do.  Find mutual interest and do fun things together.  See where it goes from there.[/quote]

Of course relationships change and you should try to do fun things together, but this is a silly modern idea.  Your parents are your parents.  Just like it is not good parenting to try to be a teenager's "friend," I don't think it is a good idea to try to be your adult child's "friend."  You have raised them.  You have a unique perspective, an intimacy that no one else has, and an intense hope for your child's well-being.  Don't sacrifice that by pretending you aren't their parent.

OP - please stand up for yourself.  She has been testing you with bad behavior, and maybe not getting the response that she wants.  I'm not saying to engage in anger, but it is OK to have expectations for her behavior toward you, especially if she depends on you for support.  That is where the "pathetic" might be coming from.[/quote]

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