Reply to Which all-girls school has the mean girls

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For what it is worth I have three kids who have been at at least a dozen schools between them from pre-K through high school, with plenty experience in both public and private.  In our experience the public school kids are consistently nicer, less exclusive, and less mean than private.  Fortunately we live in an area with great publics, so if I had it to do over, we would go public all the way just to be around nice kids.
I know there are plenty of nice kids in private, but all it takes is a few toxic kids to ruin the culture, and it seems to happen a lot.[/quote]

Really interesting take.  Do the private schools realize what is happening?  And why do parents keep the kids there if the environment is toxic?
[/quote]

NP but in my experience private school engages with parents who have kids in a bad cohort or situation way more than a public would. It makes you believe it will be ok.

So for example, my kid was bullied by a really specific handful of boys. School assured us up and down that it was being handled and the situation would end and x, y and z steps were in place to ensure  it would never happen again. The school year ends quietly, then the next year starts but the same crap starts all over. School says give us time, we’ll handle it differently, blah blah. By then almost two grades can go by before you realize you’re the proverbial frog in a boiling pot. And along the way it’s hard to ignore the social pressure to play nice with other families. At a giant public with 100 kids per grade I could go no-contact with parents of the bullies and walk the other way when I saw them. At a private with no more than 40 per grade, they rely on parents being willing to preserve the fabric of the community and know that no one is going to go scorched earth and risk isolation for their family and kid.  Nevermind if you’re approaching a year when you’re applying out and know you’ll need school to go to bat for your kid and their application.

Public is better. Wish we had gone that route even thought it would have required moving somewhere we couldn’t afford at the time.[/quote]

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