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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh wow mama, you are such a warrior. It may not feel that way, but you absolutely are. You are dealing with sh*t so far beyond what a person should have to do deal with, all at a time when you deserve to cocoon with your little family.

It shows what a kind and forgiving heart that you have that you still held space and hope for her to change. Don't beat yourself up about that. It means that despite everything, you kept your heart open. That's an amazing testament to your strength and resilience.

And now you know, absolutely, for sure, that there is no moving forward. In your very first post you said, "our main stipulation to her being in this child's life is that she doesn't share this information with my brother and his family." And she couldn't even wait two whole days. She made her bed and now she gets to lie in it.

[b]As for SIL, I would block her. There is no reason for her to be in your life. You owe her nothing.[/b] She adds nothing. If it would make *you* feel better, then you can tell her the truth before you block. But she's very unlikely to respond in a way that honors your truth and your suffering, so I would only do that if there will be some healing in the saying of it. And know that it might escalate her manipulations, as it is much easier to vilify you than to lose her view of her life.

I am so proud of you. You've kept your heart open all while laying down boundaries. You've sought help for your PPD. And now you get to move forward in your life going no contact with these abusers and enablers who have tried to steal your autonomy and your spirit, but who have not succeeded. I'm sure the universe is going to send you people who do deserve you to fill the void that will forever be your FOA.

Well done, mama.[/quote]

I agree but DO think the poster owes her nephews (or any kid, really) a chance at being protecting from their dad, as I posted above - the SIL needs to know[/quote]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and come from a different perspective. Yes, you have done everything right in protecting yourself and your immediate core family. That being said....as someone whose BIL has chosen to ghost us (and not for anything as egregious as your own brother)...it's been hard on my children growing up knowing they have a cousin - who they actually have met and had a few rare outings with - and don't understand why they can't have a relationship with their cousin. I am upset with my BIL because I don't think the fact that he and my DH don't get along should affect innocent children who are cousins. Scheduling an outing at a park for the cousins a few times a year....so they grown up knowing each other. Don't punish children for the sins of their fathers.

Family is hard and I will say that if your mental well being is to totally cut off your family, that's your decision and I respect it. Just think about the innocent children in future years. I do hope your daughter at least grows up knowing of the existence of two cousins that maybe someday when older can have a reunion. [/quote]

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