Reply to His credit card gave me the ick

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Am I crazy for this bothering me? Nice date and he pays. He uses a metallic card which caught my eye because it had shiny eye-catching flowers on it. I say that's a really prettyi card, even the waitress noted it's a pretty card. I think he was embarrassed by us calling it pretty, because it's sort of feminine? Instead of admitting he ordered it, his face turned a little red and he says it's just the replacement version they sent them. I don't know if the feminine card bothered me or just his lack of agency. Whatever the case it's been bothering me all week.[/quote]

You are not crazy for letting this bother you.

You are emotionally very immature and should be dating until you become more of an adult.

Making fun of a man (or, in the case of your target market, a boy) for having something that you perceive as "feminine" should have been left behind in grammar school.[/quote]

The card is feminine, that's really not up for dispute, is it? I posted a photo of it above. However, I'm not saying that's what actually bothers me. I honestly think his embarrassment of it and failure to own it bothered me more. Or maybe a little of both. I'm not proud to say this, obviously. It's shallow, I guess.[/quote]

It's a credit card, OP. It's not masculine or feminine. You made a comment about his card and he was defensive. You and the waitress were commenting on his "pretty" card and that sounds an awful lot like shaming him for not choosing something "masculine" as though that's even a thing for a credit card.

You also titled this post "His credit card gave me the ick" - if you meant "his refusal to be proud that he ordered the flower card instead of a different one gave me the ick" you should have titled the thread that instead.

You are not getting the responses you wanted and are trying to re-write the story to make you look less shallow. It's not working.[/quote]

Pretty is not charged or passive-aggressive language. It is a pretty, eye-catching card! The waitress did not hear me call it pretty, she too said it was pretty when she dropped the card and receipts back at our table. You're suggesting the waitress was shaming him, too, when neither of us were.[/quote]

You wrote his credit card gave you the ick. Of course you are shaming him. Now you want to pretend your reaction was to something different [/quote]

It is in fact a feminine design, clearly marketed at women. And it is in fact a pretty card. That's not to say straight men can't carry it without giving women they're dating the ick. I am honestly not sure if the card itself bothered me as much or even at all. I think it was much more his insecurity about it, blaming the company for sending it to him, and defensive posture at two harmless, genuine compliments that it was a pretty card.[/quote]

If you aren’t a troll, please get yourself into therapy. Stat. [/quote]

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