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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you have trash parents who take advantage like this for their litter of children, then, either you cut them off, or you have them at your place and feed their kids. You do not want your child to go to their house.

We had neighbors like this and they came to our house basically for food and shelter. The few times my kids went to such homes, they came back complaining about dirty homes, broken toys, no food or terrible food, and yelly parents.

My kids have a great understanding of the dysfunction in the lives of many of their playmates.  So, if you host them, you host these kids as a kindness or charity.  They are not responsible for their ill bred parents and the circumstances in which they live. [/quote]

You don't sound the least bit kind or charitable. [/quote]

:lol:  I am a pragmatist and a realist.  I am quite aware of what is actually happening and there is no confusion in my mind.  The "charity or kindness bit" is for others who are confused about it - but not for me.

Bottomline is that I do not want my kids to go to the homes of these kids and so I would rather host them and feed them at my house.  I am not hurting for resources, time or energy to feed these children.   And I also know that these kids will not be a permanent fixture for our family. [/quote]

I’m a DP from the one who responded to you, but I posted saying that neighborhood kids (from multiple, good, loving families) are always coming over to my home and I’m comfortable having them over and asking them to leave.

My experience is that kids always want food at friends’ homes. I’m a bit of a health nut, but the neighborhood kids always ask for *something* and eat *whatever.* they eat snacks my kids complain about. You would think they were starving they are capable of eating so much, but my kids complain that we don’t have the delicious snacks that their families have and I’m guessing my kids eat a lot over there too. So I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that they don’t have food (or shelter? Aren’t they your neighbors?) because they are coming over to play and requesting food.

Also raising your children to think of others as “ill bred” IS a form of dysfunction. [/quote]

You seem oddly triggered.  Are you sure you know what thread you are on?  Not talking about your neighborhood kids who come from good, loving families.  Not talking about your neighborhood families that reciprocate. Not talking about the quality of your granola snacks either.

I am talking about kids with some behavioral issues that come from dysfunctional families.  Or adults who take advantage of your hospitality.  You don't have to live in a trailer to have trashy behavior. The easiest way to explain to your kids about why some neighbors are like that is to tell them that they are ill-bred.  Which they actually are.

I prefer saying ill-bred rather than saying that the neighbor's mom is a cocaine snorting ex-public school teacher who is boning a barely legal student in the house and is a complete whackjob.  It explains why the kid come to my house, dirty, starving  and has sticky fingers so I have to keep a close ete.  Or why another kid in the neighborhood is sadistic and violent to other kids - mainly because he has  neglectful divorced parents who abuse alcohol and possibly him.   Or the pair of sullen siblings who used to come to our house to watch PBS programs and eat meals and would be at my house for HOURS and whose dad got arrested for distributing child porn.    These are just ill-bred people

People are dysfunctional because of ill-breeding mainly.  The degree of dysfunction can be more or less depending upon culture, circumstances, education, mental illness, poverty, addiction etc.

Not reciprocating is also a part of dysfunction that stems from ill-breeding because how can a person otherwise not care about these basic rules of social engagement?   Most of these people probably feel happy about not reciprocating and taking advantage of others goodwill. [/quote]

Gosh. What kind of neighborhood do you live in?  :shock: [/quote]

The land of make-believe, prolly.[/quote]

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