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[quote=Anonymous]Did you have an honest talk with him, or is that not possible at this time? Is he gaslighting you when you bring it up?

Is he self-medicating with this booze fest? I am not diagnosing him, but I know my DS(adult) did that for a while, and it was due to severe social anxiety.

Is it a social thing, and since everyone else does it, he thinks nothing of it?
How much is he drinking every night? Is he getting antsy in the evening to start drinking?

If he is otherwise not gaslighting you, not violent, and generally ok, is there a way you can think to make him address this issue?
Do you think you can get full physical custody?

I am sorry to be pragmatic here, but I watched my SIL divorce her DH, who was earning a lot of money, and now two decades later, she is hoping they will end up together again, and why is she hoping that as she divorced for a smaller thing than yours, I have no clue.

I am also Balkan/Slavic person and such drastic measures bring the pragmatist in me.

I don't think about princessing or comfort,  or eternal perfect life, I think about more mundane issues, will my life be worse off, will I be able to support my kids, will they be at the house at night with a dead drunk father and smoking pot and he will know nothing.

I am also about being brutally honest in my marriage, and I was like this in the beginning.
When DH was spending all his waking hours other than at work, fixing every stupid thing for his dad and mom and his best buddy, I plain told him, that I did not leave my beautiful European life, and it was great, my family is very well off there, to be alone in a strange country.
You might not believe it, but I have the best marriage of any couple I know. DH and I have no fights now, we both give in and compromise all the time. We both express our love to each other, and we are always here for our adult kids. But, there were some rough times in the past.

When we had a child, I told him, this is his kid and enough with some self desired studying all night and here is your kid, watch him and shut up.
I am plain spoken, hard working person in everything I do. I am self sufficient, but I do not put up with crap. My SIL did not do this, and things got out of hand, where she was quiet and a storm inside was brewing. Her DH was skiing every weekend while she was home with two young children, one had half of brain dead due to a stroke in womb, the other had insane reflux. She followed her white bread introverted housewife mom's example, and then she boiled over and divorced him.
As mentioned, she regrets it now.

So, don't know if you did or did not do this, but raise some ruckus op. Bring him to realize he will lose everything if he does not shape up.
His kids will grow up without a father, most likely, or his kids will be in danger bcs of his drinking.
On another note, my grandpa was an alcoholic, when things got out of hand, he beat my mom when she was a child with a chair.
Oh, yes, he is in the Second World War, so we must make allowances, but where is the line there?
If I were you, and you did not make yourself very, very clear, I would do so. Make a scene from hell. 
Once day, my horrible FIL, was driving my 6 year old DD for Christmas to pick up pies and food. When told her to get our of the car as he was still driving it, but coming to a stop. So she does, and almost gets ran over. He blamed on her the pie picking issue, on a 6 year old.
Guess what I did that Christmas dinner? In front of all the family, all ILS for me, I told him that he is acting unacceptable, endangering my child and that a 6 year old cannot possible be guilty for his stupid pie issue. Yes, FIL is a narcissist. So, if you think your DH is worth fighting for, fight.
Is he is a loser from hell, and you had enough, fight for yourself and for your kids. Take him to the cleaners. Start recording his drunken stupors and how many bottles of whatever he had in each day.
Fight, op, fight.
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