Reply to Boyfriend wants to control me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you an as generous with equally shouldering bills and expenses or is he covering more than his half because you like to live it up and save? [/quote]

He has been covering his bills. I buy our groceries and pay anytime we go out. I pay my own car insurance, gas, and my own phone bill. I also have taken over in other areas. I do almost all the cooking, laundry, and shopping for us. We came to this agreement because he said I didn’t need to pay for what he was already paying. [/quote]

Why aren't you paying for housing and all housing related expenses. That is typically a major adult life expense and if you are absolving yourself of that adult basic responsiblity then it seems he has good reason for concern.  Similar if he is absolving himself of all household responsibilites and contributes nothing to cooking, cleaning and house maintenance then you also have a reason for concern - just a different reason. You are young, unmarried adults. You should both be able to manage basic adulting. You should have equal financial responsibilities and he should have equal household responsiblities and if you have decided no we are more into traditional gender roles then don't compain when he takes charge of the role he has been assigned. [/quote]

I offered to split all bills 50/50 but he said no. He wanted to continue to pay the main bills because that’s his job as a provider ( his words). I didn’t want to pay nothing so we came to the agreement that I will pay groceries, outings, and my own personal bills.

I’ve always paid my own way since I moved out at 20. I’m 25 and lived on my own for years as an adult.

My bf is older and said a lot of this stuff is his responsibility. He’s 34. 
[/quote]

So you want a traditional relationship since you agreed to this? But then you also object to him having say over how you spend the money. I think you have a lot of growing up to do. Women who are grown and independent pay their own bills. [/quote]

[b]Yeah part of being a tradwife is giving him control over all of the finances. That’s the deal[/b]. [/quote]

Unless you want to be a trad wife OP, you need to fix this or get out now.

You are setting the precedent that you handle all household stuff even though you are also working full-time too.

Is that what you want?

If you ever did marry this guy and have kids you would be fully responsible for all kid related things.  And, even if he was okay with you stopping work to be a stay at home parent - guess what - he's already shown you he would control ALL the money and not "approve" of spending anything on you.

I hope this is a troll. If not, get out![/quote]

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