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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have 20+ year old cars we drive until they fall apart. Also, don't eat out at all and [b]don't have pets. [/b][/quote]

I am a SAHW.   I have been running the house on 10K monthly for past 20 years (post tax).  He pays  all the  taxes, Social security, IRA, pension plan, investments and medical coverage.  Of course, earlier I had kids living with us too but now we are mostly empty nesters.  We are living quite lavishly

-Mortgage - 2300
-Food  - 1500
-Utilities, internet, subscriptions, insurance, gas, office parking, cleaner, lawn person, co-pay, office lunch,  - 2500
-Socializing and entertaining (including catering help) - 1000
-My kid needs room and board in college so that is usually - 1500
I still have around 1-2K left with me each month.

When kids were younger, I paid for tutors and other needs of the kids too.  I always had money left.  So, I saved for college, weddings, travel, gifts etc.

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[b]Catering help?   Lawn, cleaner…do it  yourself.  [/b]

Our big expense is tutoring and sports-music lessons and activities.   We make slightly less, paid off the house, no debt and will pay cash for our next car.[/quote]

Sure. You can and we actually did it ourselves when we had less income, more expenses and wanted to also save for future.  Compounding is magic.  Keeping costs down and paying ourselves first was something we always did.

Having a low mortgage, driving reliable mid-price Japanese cars, no student debt, no childcare cost, no private schools, cooking from scratch, only 2 kids and no pets  - all of these allowed us the luxury to grow our wealth, so that we are in a position to help our kids  and grandkids too.

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That seems silly if you are not working.  I'd rather do those things to pay for more things for my kids.[/quote]

I think it is a cultural difference in how you and I think.    I am highly educated and being a SAHM was a strategic decision once my DH's salary reached a level where we knew we could do with his earnings.

We had a vision for what lifestyle we wanted and how we wanted to raise our kids.  We were successful in that. [/quote]

I make $250K ($11K/m take home after retirement/deductions) and wouldn’t describe myself as living richly nor would I want to support a spouse and two kids alone on this salary.[/quote]

That's really a "you" problem.  If your basic COL is too high (housing, childcare, student debt, schooling) then you are basically running in circles to make more and more to pay for things.  The more you earn, the less time you have to do other things, and the more you have to outsource.

And there is a limit to what you can outsource. A nanny is not better than an educated and loving mother is who is present and involved.  [/quote]

NP - you PP is the problem.  People like you talk about how others should be saving more/doing less/making more, etc etc.  Listen up - $250k in this area - if Arlington/Del Ray/NW DC - that is nothing.  I tell you, with 2+ kids, it's nothing.  The amount of money we all need to be comfortable (and no - comfortable DOES NOT mean, only camp vacations and making every single meal of your life) is a lot.  Does it mean you can take $15k holidays every year or go on vacation around the world every year?  Of course not.  Does it mean your car payment can't be less than $800/mo?  Of course not.  But property taxes are high.  Any house you would have brought may be reasonable for mortgage but add property tax and it's at least $3500-4500 for both.  Add on insurance and any issues your kids may have or any activities they do.

It's just not about outsourcing but yeah, definitely having a cleaning lady will keep your sanity.  It's about living your life in a way that makes you not hate your life.  So when people talk about how they can be really frugal like it's something everyone should learn to do, sorry but not everyone ones that kind of I have to do every single damn thing myself at every minute kinda life.  They don't.  I don't.  We had a nanny share when my kids were young with no family around and 2 work out of the house parents for my kids and we just didn't have a choice but once they hit elementary school, we stopped.  I do not have someone to drive my kids around, I don't have a housekeeper but I do have carpools.  I do have a cleaning lady.  And thank god I have that kind of help because I would slash my wrists without any support.  So I get why for some people, $250k really isn't that much.  I wish people would judge you as you judge others so readily.[/quote]

It’s all about choices.  We save and pay cash for cars.  Last car was $50k but why not?  We don’t really vacation but if we did we’d find ways to keep costs down.  We did Disney a lot when kids were little.  No nanny or child care costs.  It is a huge amount.  Our property taxes are about $5k for a tiny crummy house.  We pay cash at the first bill.  I am the driver, housekeeper, home repair.  Spouse drives, yard work, house repair.  We do get groceries delivered as it’s cheaper.  You need to get mental health treatment.  [/quote]

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