Reply to what happens when Dad abandons the family and Mom is left to handle everything, but doesn't want it either?

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Reply to "what happens when Dad abandons the family and Mom is left to handle everything, but doesn't want it either?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Single mom here. Poor kids. Neither parent wants them? That’s awful. I have mine 24/7/365 because my ex wants the freedom to do whatever he wants. I don’t have any choices here but what am I going to do? [/quote]

I'm sorry, that sounds very hard.  You just accept that?  Aren't there any ramifications/consequences/etc AT ALL for the dad?  Is it really that easy for a father to walk away scot free?  
Is is societal pressure/biology/guilt/fear of embarassment that makes moms stay with their kids and assume 100% caregiving and financial responsibility?
How has this always been the dynamic throughout history?[/quote]

Same story here. There was never any discussion about him not wanting 50-50 custody. He just refused to talk about it all together. This is how men like this avoid the conversation. They don’t offer explanations. They just don’t communicate. In my case, his job was so much lower paying the mind that the child support would have been barely useful so I declined it, hoping that if I took the financial issues off the table that we could reach an agreement that only addressed parenting time with our daughter. I told him I would handle all of the financial responsibility if he could stick to a schedule visiting her, no matter how minimum. He declined. That’s when she was five and we haven’t heard from him in seven years. Some people are just not wired right and often the best thing to do is let them walk away.

Fun bonus: I keep in touch with his extended family because this is my daughter‘s family as well. I do not ask questions about him because that kind of triangulation is unhealthy. But on the rare occasion that the topic of him seeing her has come up, I’ve been told that his story to his extended family is that he doesn’t see our daughter because I won’t allow it, or, that I still “want him“ and so therefore he has to keep his distance.

Yes, it’s truly revolting.[/quote]

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