Reply to Husband suddenly not interested in being a parent or spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]BTDT, OP. We were married 15 years with two kids. He had a massive midlife crisis. He didn’t have an affair but did a lot of other cliche things. He went from being dutiful and on all the time to not giving a crap and talking about his new needs. He was extremely angry and hostile. Basically, under stress his childhood trauma and other issues came out, and he cracked.

I agree that you need to mentally prepare for divorce. Get a lawyer and a therapist. He is no longer your partner. We wasted time with several couples therapists and though I wouldn’t have done it differently (had to feel I tried everything) it was pointless.

My theory is that he was always pretty self centered and for a short time identified his “self” with having a family/ being a husband, but when he realized it really involved un-selfing and being there for others he couldn’t hold it together. [/quote]

We had other issues, too. He had been in therapy for years with anxiety/OCD/ attachment issues. Big jealousy about my career and friends. I think he never grew up.[/quote]

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