Reply to Can swinging save sexless marriages or does it just delay the divorce?

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Reply to "Can swinging save sexless marriages or does it just delay the divorce?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m pretty sure that my knee jerk instinct is that it just delays the divorce (However, I don’t know of any couples doing it, so who knows?).

But. After years of trying and failing to  have sex with my husband I told him that it was a dealbreaker and I suggested opening the marriage. He said no but he finally acknowledged that we had a real problem.

Almost on a whim, he suggested we go to a strip club. It’s not really my thing, but this was huge for him to be try to address The Problem and I agreed. While looking for one, we stumbled upon a lifestyle club website and went there instead.

We had a great time and afterward he finally shared that he had some kinks that caused him shame. The issue all those years was him not feeling attracted without it. The kink itself is pretty common but he grew up in a household where everything that felt good was bad.

We’ve been back a couple more times over the last year. Marriage is the best it’s ever been in 20+ years. We’re having lots of sex, always by ourselves except at the club. We are no longer constantly bickering over stupid stuff. He’s been so much better with the housework, everything. It feels like a honeymoon. If we are heading down the path to divorce, it’s a lovely, scenic path. I don’t think we were going to make it without a huge change anyway.

I know DCUM tends to be pretty conservative about these things, but curious if anyone has experience or advice?[/quote]
My wife and I have been dabbling in this for years. We have done full swap same room play with couples and the occasional single. I know it sounds crazy but both of us are very good at compartmentalizing this. We've been married 21 years and have no problems, but we never had problems. This emerged out of sheer mutual curiosity. We're so aligned in our overall values that I don't worry about any potential negative effects, because for more than 10 years there haven't been any. This is only an every once in awhile thing. [/quote]

You are the exception rather than the rule. It's estimated 2% of the adult population of the U.S. are swingers,  if you google or AI it comes up as a high risk practice.[/quote]

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