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[quote=Anonymous]I think a lot of this is subjective and context dependent.

Schools with good culture tend to have many kids of all kinds (sporty or artsy or shy or bold and everywhere in between) who are well liked by everyone, because the school encourages camaraderie. It also helps when the school doesn't preference, for instance, athleticism over other good qualities -- schools that celebrate the robot club as much as the track team tend to encourage kids to appreciate all sorts of people and not just worship the outgoing athletes. So it's possible for your kid to be bad at sports and on the quiet side and still be "popular" and have plenty of friends and be well liked by classmates. I have a kid like this and she gets invited on lots of playdates and recently was selected by her classmates to represent them at a ceremony. She's quirky and quiet but that's not a bad thing at her school.

She also has classmates who are outgoing athletes and they are also well liked and popular.

There are also some kids at her school whose parents clearly subscribe to more of an 80s sitcom idea of popularity, and the irony there is that they are NOT popular. Like there is an upper grade student who is a phenomenal athlete and a fantastic student, but she's not well liked at all. She has a group of 3 or 4 friends who worship her and she has an extremely superior and negative attitude and is known to openly criticize other kids in front of even teachers and parents.

When she was in earlier grades, she was more "popular" in part because she's obviously a smart and talented kid and I think people were drawn to her confidence. But now most kids steer clear of her and her friends because they are known for being nasty and competitive and that's just not what most kids (or parents) want to be around.

I blame the parents for not teaching her humility or to appreciate the positive qualities of others. Some of it might be innate but I think she could have been trained to be more empathetic or at least more pleasant and polite. She may go far in life because she's got a lot of gifts, but I don't think she'll ever be truly well liked.[/quote]

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