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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not anymore. They stay with us once a year, and that time is always tense, and DH sees them separately on other occasions.  I tried when I first started dating DH, but it is clear that they don't want DH to be in a relationship with anyone but their mom.   I get it.  Before me, DH's previous GF broke up with him over the bad vibes she got, and I know that after me, the next person would struggle, too.  So, I'm super disengaged.  It's DH's relationship now to compartmentalize and manage, and he does a pretty good job of it.  They enjoy their vacations together when it's just him and his kids.   We have younger kids—the tensions when everyone is together are not worth it.   Their weddings are the only remaining life events I'll attend if they want me there.  I might be sad if I'm excluded but relieved as I know it wouldn't be fun to be an unwanted wedding guest.  The most challenging times in blended families are holidays and life events.  [/quote]

Just make sure the will is written and everything is spelled out. I, too, was unwanted, and when DH died, stepkids tried to go after everything, including the house DH and I bought together. [/quote]

how did that turn out for them? on what basis would they have a claim against a home that you bought together and owned presumably as joint tenants with rights of survivorship?  in our case, I’ve kept most of my money separate and I don’t know how they would ever have a claim against it, but it does concern me because I’m sure they will do the same someday. [/quote]

I kept all of the receipts  :D We both put a downpayment, both paid the mortgage, I paid for renovations. He left them everything else: military pension, 401K, investment property. So no, you don't get the house for which we both paid for. Really showed their true faces after he died.[/quote]

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