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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working. [/quote]

I would never be able to feel the same about my spouse ever again. I don’t understand why you didn’t leave with your child when your spouse threatened them? I would have been livid hearing my spouse threaten to hit my kids. If other discipline options were not working it was probably time to leave anyway. [/quote]
Courts DGAF especially in VA. Abusive fathers get joint and sole custody all the time.

OP, get into therapy with your husband. He needs to learn about child development and understand what’s happening in your child’s brain. Corporal punishment is terrible. Tell husband you want to work together. You have to play the long game here. [/quote]

I read "leave" as leave the grandparents house.  If things have disintegrated to the point that threats are being made, it's probably time to get the kid out of there.  Go home, if that's an option.  Take a long walk, sit in the car, or go into a bedroom and enforce some quiet time if it isn't.

Divorcing someone you don't trust with your child is really complicated.  There is a high likelihood that he will get custody or unsupervised overnight visitation, and he's shown that he's not well equipped for that.  I would think about something like PCIT that teaches the adult and kid structured ways to set limits. [/quote]

Yes I meant leave as in leave the party. I can’t imagine watching someone threaten my child and do nothing about it? I would definitely remove my child from that situation. But honestly if my husband tried to hit our kid with a belt he would have to physically move me out of the way first. Not that he ever would in a million years do that.

Ironically it probably would make it very hard to divorce even though I would have lost so much respect for him. So sad. [/quote]

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