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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on. [/quote]

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers. [/quote]

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.[/quote]

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements. [/quote]

As a fellow formerly poor person, I concur.  I and my siblings launched from poverty to top schools and are all in or near the top 1% income, providing top education k-12 that we never got. I am proud of my accomplishments as well, and have noted the same “striver” mockery from bitter long-term wealthy families who do not have children smart or driven enough to get in to the same level of elite college they attended. [/quote]

OP here. The problem is [b]seeing your children as an extension of your striving.[/b] While I can appreciate that some kids are talented and self-motivated and strive for a top college, what I’m talking about is the atmosphere of bitter panic at facing the fact that Larlo may not get into as elite a college as they had hoped. Perhaps your attitude and values are better than that because you acknowledge it actually is about working hard, not entitlement or gaming the system or blaming other kids for your kids (actually perfectly acceptable but less elite) college choices. [/quote]

Our children are our extension. Parents want their children to be better, or at least, not worse, than themselves. Children's success makes them proud. It's the most natural thing in the world.[/quote]

But if you are already top 1% in terms of wealth and you define success as income or wealth, you are painting yourself into a corner. The expectation that your child will be able to top your financial success is delusional.

[b]Now, if you define success in terms of pursuing a field about which they have passion and then achieving within that field, then you have something.[/b] But your kid doesn't have to go to one of a tiny number of elite colleges to do this. Is your child's true passion really "management consulting"? If not, they don't actually have to attend Harvard. If they are a top student and get a bit lucky they can go anyway (especially since you will no doubt have guaranteed them K-12 at a top feeder and access to any extra curricular their heart desires and tutors and test prep) but they don't need to do so in order to be successful. So you can chill.[/quote]

Ok, I actually don't believe that people worth tens of millions of dollars are pulling hair re: ivy admissions. I just don't buy the facts as OP presented them.

But I also resent this idea of pursuing one's passion as some sort of healthy alternative to striving where, today, it leads to near poverty or failure or some kind of fake/bought for success in a vast majority of cases. Becoming a famous a Harvard employed entomologist is not easier than creating a business worth 20 million dollars. It's not a more modest or loftier goal. It's just a different kind of gamble.[/quote]

oh they are though.

And unless you’re caught up in this morally bankrupt delusion, you can see the obvious: there’s a massive middle ground between “poverty and failure” and wasting your life as a management consultant. [/quote]

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